Fresher’s week is the pivotal point of all University expectations. It’s the beginning of what the next three years of your life will look like, a taster of what it feels like to be a student. What I learnt in these weeks was more useful than my course itself, I learnt how to look after myself and to be a grown-up, in so many words.


Number one:

What I learnt in Freshers week was that “Saving the Queen” was a legitimate drinking game and if I ever failed to save our Liz, then I would end up with either a dead arm, or the latter of the two, a lemon in the eye. This was almost an Olympic sport and as the year progressed on it became more and more competitive, 5 metre shots, 10 metre shots and trick shots. So no, I can’t work out x-y=v(s>lxs) without the use of a calculator, however what I can do, is bounce a 10p off a table and into someone else cup and give a pretty killer dead arm if I need to.


Number two:

You will probably do something during your first few weeks that will then haunt you for the next 3 years of your life. Whether that something is a someone, you will inevitably end up avoiding this someone for the entire time at uni, pretending you both where “too drunk” to remember and smiling awkwardly across the bar at each other. Or, whether your drunken friend snap chats a provocative picture of you and you carry the nickname “anal queen” around with you…don’t ask! Either way, your reputation is on a downhill spiral already.


Number three:

Speaking of reputation, at uni, there isn’t any such thing as a good reputation. You won’t be remembered as the girl who was celibate and never drunk too much on a night out. You just won’t. Even so, the boy who had a three some during his first week, is a local legend and the girl who gets drunk and flashes her boobs on a night out has got “Banter”. I learnt if you’re not ready to be a complete Douche, don’t expect to be everyone best friend.


Number four:

Having enough money for food, or having one more night out? This is a question I never thought I’d have to ask myself until uni. Since, I have asked this question at least once a week. Do the big shop or tequila? I learnt that Tequila wins, every time. Then you’re faced with the really serious question, this question is one you have to base your entire night on, if you make the wrong decision you will regret it. One more drink, or takeaway? Do you get one more drink and have the best night ever, waking up with the killer hangover you anticipated or do you get a takeaway, spend the rest of the night on a bit of a downer and feel fresh as a daisy in the morrow. Only you can make that decision.


Number 5:

I learnt the art of avoiding sales pundits. “do you want a ticket, free both of champaign de shit, and a free shot, only £5”. You cannot underestimate how freaking annoying walking down a street and having 5 or 6 of these people approaching you asking you to go to their shit club when I already know exactly where I’m heading. My advise, give them a stern look and say “fuck off!”. They don’t appreciate it, but I don’t appreciate not being allowed to pass them when I’m in next to nothing in the pouring rain, at least I got my point across, right?


What I learnt wasn’t exactly breaking news and it didn’t quite guarantee me a job when I finished university but it did make my three years, slightly, bearable. It probably won’t come as a shock to you all that list could of continued on into the hundreds but I think the fun is learning the lessons yourself. All in all, I think I learnt the right ones.