Handing in my dissertation was one of the happiest feelings and also, one of the saddest. Saying goodbye to Uni didn’t feel like a proper goodbye and yet, for the first time in three years (well, first year didn’t really count so I guess it’s two), I was finally free from deadlines and coursework and exams (ok, as an English Student, exams didn’t really exist but for those of you doing other courses, you get my point).
With what seemed so distant for so long now being a very real fear, you’d think I’d be cracking on with trying to secure my future…That’s not exactly the case… Now is the time I sit and contemplate; to reminisce about the person I was before Uni madness kicked in, and wonder if my 21 year old self is really that far from who I was at 18. I should add that now also happens to be the time I berate myself for not knuckling down with my work sooner. Not joining a society. Not attending all my lectures. Not sending off applications for work experience and jobs sooner.
Now, I’m lingering in the alteration phase of job hunting, work rejections, money worries and if that’s not enough, there’s also the back-in-the-cushy-home-life-security-anxiety, the omg-I’m-going-to-turn-into-a-waster-fear. Since I moved back home, those feelings have hit me hard.
Having studied a writing degree, job prospects are hardly the most reliable. They are also particularly difficult to get in to. I never realised it before but why must there be so many variations of writing jobs out there?! There are people doing gap years. People doing internships. People continuing education because they still aren’t ready to make the transition. And here I sit. Writing up drivel on my laptop, hoping the world will somehow make sense to me by the time this article is published.
Like many, I began Uni without a clue what I was getting myself in to. I guess the idea was that I’d be finishing with 1sts all around, job offers galore and a real sense of direction. I have to say, that’s not exactly the case. I do not have job offers flapping around my head waiting for me to reach up and grab the most convenient one. And most of all, I have no idea what I am going to do next. What I do know, is that opportunities do not come to those who sit and wait for them. Even though I’m still sulking about the outrageous freedom a writing degree gives you, something is for sure; I can sit around and wait until an epiphany inevitably hits me, or I can keep trawling through the various job offers online, hoping to gain as much experience as I can and eventually, find myself a job.