It has probably dawned on you once or twice throughout studying your English degree, and if you’re anything like me you will have likely banished that thought to the dark recesses of your mind.

But now that you have graduated you need to face the biggest problem you’ve likely ever faced: just what the hell can you do with an English degree?!  Below are some of the problems English graduates will likely face in the coming months:

1. Just because you studied a degree in English DOES NOT mean you automatically want to become a teacher. But 99.999999% of the people you’ll encounter through the coming months will assume that that is the natural next step in your life. English degree universally means English teacher. Because, y’know, what else can you truly do with an English degree?

2. You’ll begin to worry that you have made a colossal mistake and you will ACTULLY google “what jobs can you get with an English degree?” This will be another big mistake. Googling job possibilities, like googling the symptoms of your persistent rash, always results in dread. Refrain from it. Your rash probably isn’t a life-threatening disease, but does anyone who has ever studied English really want to become an accountant? How is that possible?

3. You wrote essays on novels during university so naturally you understand how novels work. Bingo! You can write a novel. If Stephanie Meyer can do it, so can you. But writing a novel is easier said than done. It takes years of planning and writing and even then you’ll likely write seventy nine thousand copies of each chapter before you’re truly happy with the end result. If you ever are. There has to be an easier option out there.

4. After applying for a measly seven jobs you’ll get bored of looking and resign yourself to the cash register for life. As you serve customer after customer each and every dream you ever had at the beginning of you degree will trickle out of your mind until your life becomes truly mundane. Welcome to the world of a postgraduate.