How to Avoid Ever Having to Clean Up

So your teenage years were one of backbreaking servitude to grown-ups. Your parents expected you to do chores, your school wanted you to do homework and all through life you have been expected to keep things tidy and adhere to a certain standard of personal hygiene. Until now.

Now you are your own master perhaps it’s time to experiment with these boundaries; see what happens if you never wash up or put the rubbish out. After all, you have to make sure these tasks are essential just in case everyone forgot that they’re unnecessary and just perform them out of habit.

Teaspoons are your New Best Friend

In the cutlery draw, knives are the hot girls. They’re always taken out first and are often in short supply. So if there are no clean knives and you want toast or a sandwich, how about using the back of a spoon to spread your butter or cream cheese or whatever? It works with about 90% of the efficiency of a knife and you’ve avoided the washing up for a few more hours. Score.

Eat Straight out of the Saucepan

Plates and bowls? Pure excess. Save by eating straight out of the saucepan and halve your washing up duties. You’re welcome.

Invite Your Parents Over

Bear with me on this. Most mum’s can’t bare the thought of leaving their offspring in alone in a filthy hovel and will clean for you. I have seen this happen quite often. A housemate’s mother has come for a visit and the next thing you know, bam! Clean kitchen.

Pee Sitting Down

Ok so if you’re a girl you already know this, but if you’re a boy – have you ever wondered why girl’s bathrooms are always nicer? Yes, it’s the sitting down when peeing technique. It really does save you a lot of cleaning around the rim of the toilet. What? You weren’t planning on cleaning it anyway? That’s just gross – shame on you.